This is a post I wrote December 16, 2010. It was first posted to Army Strong Stories – a blog created and curated by the U.S. Army.
The other day, I received an email from someone I served with several years ago. I first met her when we both joined the Army. She was unaccustomed to Army life and not used to having to hide who she was. Having grown up in the military, I knew she was going to have a difficult time adjusting. As she was several years younger than me, I pulled her aside one day and spoke with her about her openness in being a lesbian. I told her that not everyone was going to accept her and that she should be very careful because her sexual orientation could be used against her if she wasn’t careful.
Her first duty station, I was wrong. Everyone in her unit, including her command, knew she was a lesbian and had absolutely no problem with it. She served honorably in a deployment and enjoyed relative openness. No one cared.
Then she moved to her next duty station and I began to see evidence on her Facebook updates, that something was amiss. I will not get into the details here but suffice it to say that there are very few times in my Army career in which I’ve been ashamed of the people I share this uniform with. All I could do was tell her to lay low and hang on a little longer. DADT is going away and they can’t hurt you anymore…
Her email the other day, blindsided me.
“So Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a no go now? What does that mean for people like me? Still gotta hide?”
My heart broke as I had to reply:
“Hold on a little bit longer, kiddo. K? I know you’ve waited long enough… just a little longer.”
I have friends who have served our Nation with honor and courage far beyond question, who have done so silently and alone, for over 17 years. I. Am. So. Sick… of telling them they have to wait “a little bit longer” to stop living in fear. What people don’t understand is that being GAY does not define WHO they are, but being a SOLDIER does. Many of them would rather live in silence and fear, than NOT be soldiers.
Enough already. We have far more important business to get to than whether or not someone should or shouldn’t be able to tell the truth about who they are. Let’s get over it and Charlie Mike. We’ve known this was coming and we know that deep down, it is the absolute most “right” thing to do. For those of you still adamantly against it, I’m sorry. This is going to happen. Get ready.
I can’t believe, that in 2010 and soon to be 2011, we are still having this discussion.
Below, is the text of a speech I gave two summers ago at the National Press Club in Washington, DC. It’s as true now as it has ever been. It doesn’t matter how long we wait, the people who have a problem serving alongside gays, will always have a problem (and probably have some personal stuff to work out.) To be honest, I’d rather serve alongside someone I know has no doubts in their mind about the reasons they’re in uniform, than someone whose loyalty to the mission and the uniform, can be swayed by their personal prejudices.
My speech and the Voices of Honor Tour received quite a bit of press coverage, but what was most important to me was speaking on behalf of the gay men and women who I’d come to know over my career. It was truly, an honor. As one of the tour’s first straight advocates, I could speak while they couldn’t.
My gay friends put that uniform on because it meant more to them than anything else… even if it meant being completely alone and living in constant fear of losing their careers (which is all they had because they weren’t allowed to have families.) They stood by and watched others, hug and kiss their loved ones good bye on their way to deployments where some of them didn’t come home. When they were injured or died in uniform, someone other than their loved ones, or NO ONE at all, got the calls and visits from uniformed servicemembers with terrible news.
Giving this speech made me nervous, and my voice wavered as I spoke. I had to keep to my script. But the nervousness I felt was nothing compared to the fear and nervousness experienced every day by the amazing soldiers I’ve served with who are gay and lesbian. Most of us, have no idea, not an inkling of an idea… of what being that lonely would feel like. We can’t even imagine…
Enough already.
Voices of Honor Tour Launch
Summer 2009
National Press Club, Washington DC
I’m Genevieve Chase. I served in the U.S. Army and I am a veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan. I am also straight.
Those who oppose repealing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law would have you believe that allowing gays to serve openly in the military would disrupt unit cohesion. They would also have you believe that we are incapable of working alongside openly gay men and women. I beg to differ. I not only don’t believe this, I know from my experience, that it is NOT true.
In over six years of military service, I have trained and served with many gays and lesbians. Our teams consistently functioned efficiently and cohesively, even when they included openly gay soldiers. Those who oppose repealing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy have taken the phrase – unit cohesion – and turned it into something that does not match our generation’s understanding of cohesion in the modern military. To service members, cohesiveness means “one team, one fight,” and no generation in the history of this country embodies that spirit more than today’s modern military professionals. Allowing discrimination and bigotry to continue and forcing dishonesty within our ranks, is what disrupts the cohesion of our armed forces.
On April 7, 2006, while in Afghanistan, a suicide bomber drove his car, packed with explosives, into our vehicle. Everyone in our team survived the attack and in the moments after the explosion, we pulled together. In the heat of attack, what mattered was getting everyone back alive. Our focus was on the mission and on the survival of our team, not on gender, race, religion or sexual orientation.
In my personal observation, sexual orientation discrimination was used as a way to demean soldiers that stood above the rest. Perception is reality in the military and I found that when women kept their relationships and personal lives private, and rejected advances made by interested men, rumors would spread that “she must be a lesbian.” The accusation itself, is enough to warrant an investigation and it is all too often true, that troops are guilty until proven innocent. DADT is used as a tool levied against women and I could easily have been one of those women. The numbers reflect this issue as women represent a disproportionally significant number of those discharged under DADT.Those who oppose repealing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy would have you believe that doing so would disrupt unit cohesion. I’m here to tell you that gays have been and are already serving openly. Unit cohesion across the spectrum of the military is better than it has ever been because our generation embraces diversity. The opposition would also have you believe that today’s professional service members are incapable of living alongside gays and lesbians but I’m here to tell you that we already do. We are service members of a new era and not only is this policy outdated but it WILL and MUST change to reflect the values, integrity and honored service held in high esteem by our generation.
Thank you.
genevievechase.com 